


And the Moon Smiles

by daisyfalls



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:03:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4418624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyfalls/pseuds/daisyfalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after Laura's gone, Carmilla likes to visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the Moon Smiles

**Author's Note:**

> This is an oldie I posted on Tumblr forever ago and totally meant to upload hear equally forever ago. But oops! So here it is.

The snow is soft beneath you. 

Light.Fluffy.Almost translucent in the moonshine.Soft.It’s always so soft.And for a moment, you think that maybe you can see the stars twinkling from the ground.The crystals below you reflecting those above.  

It’s beautiful.  Pretty.  

It always is. 

Your boot sinks to the earth.Pushing through the plush.And you wonder if it’s due to its soft nature or if it’s from the weight of your body.

The weight of your body and the weight of the world. 

Your feet carry you along the familiar path.And you’re happy.Glad, really, that your body knows it so well you don’t need to think about it

Because, really, you’d rather be anywhere else.But you come back.You always do.Just as you promised you would.  

 And breaking a promise was something you were never able to do.

The snow is deeper than you realize, as you pull your boot up and take another step.The black leather disappears completely and you feel the cold drip of flakes tickle your ankle and coat your pants.  

A shiver runs up your spine, despite your coat.  

 You’ve hated the cold.  Always have.  Even in death.  The symbolic perpetual chill that everyone seems to think it is.  You hate it.  You do.  But you wouldn’t be anywhere else now.

You prefer coming in the winter.That is, you still visit in the summer (promises and all), but just a little less.It’s too bright.And green.And the flowers just aren’t right.So .you reserve yourself and travel and only come on the occasionAnd then winter arrives and the visits become often.   

You prefer the look of your own flowers, perched in the snow and placed just how you like them.  

And you know she does too. 

But it’s cold all the same.And, you think, she probably gets a kick out of that too.

 

/// 

 

_“I’m going to stop sleeping with you if you don’t start wearing socks.”_

_Carmilla frowns, glares really, as Laura sinks further into her.  Laura rolls her eyes and pulls a blanket over them both.  And then digs her ice like toes into Carmilla’s calf.  Camilla scoffs but doesn’t move._

_She never does.  But her arms always pull Laura closer._

" _You’re not even sleeping.”_

_“Yeah, because your cold feet were keeping me up.  You kick you know.”_

_“Anyone ever tell you you complain too much.”_

_“I’ve been told it’s endearing.”_

_Laura snorts and Carmilla smiles._

_Quiet settles around them as they both adjust to the size of the window sill.  It’s not really big enough for the both of them.  But it’s never stopped them before._

_Carmilla wraps her arms around Laura’s middle and pulls her close; Laura’s fingers ghosting across her arm in a dance._

_"What were you thinking about?”  Laura asks after a second.  “Really.”_

_Carmilla sighs.  Because what she really means is “why are you awake”.  But that’s a question Laura stopped asking long ago._

_There was never an answer._

_Laura squeezes her hand._

_“Nothing,_ really _.”  Carmilla shrugs.  “Just the moon, I guess.”_

  _She watches as Laura turns to it.  The bright, round orb shining in the sky.  It frames them in the window.  Full.  Encompassing._

_“What about it?”_

_Carmilla pulls Laura closer to her chest._

  _“Just that.  It’s the same.  It’s the same it’s always been.”  Laura doesn’t say anything as she pauses.  And they both wait for Carmilla to find the right words she needs._

_“I’ve been alive for…thousands of days.  And everything else….everything that’s ever been has gone and changed.”  And_ died _.  “But the moon is the same.”_

  _Laura hums against her and she feels it more than hears it.  It reverberates through her bones._

  _It’s warm._

_“It’s strange.”Carmilla continues.“It’s always just been that one.And that won’t ever change.”_

_Laura yawns.And Carmilla can’t blame her.It is the middle of the night.And they had already been up for half of it._

_Carmilla smiles as the recent memory floods her system._

_“It must be comforting,” Laura says once the yawn is finished.And the smile fades._

_That hadn’t exactly been the word she had been thinking.  And Laura must sense the change because she adds:_

_“To know that there will always be that one constant.  You’re never alone.  Even in forever.  It’s a…friend.”_

_A friend is worthless if they are miles away, a voice in Carmilla bites but she keeps it to herself._

_“Make you jealous?”_

_“Jealous?”  Laura cranes her neck around to stare at her._

_“She’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.”_  

_Laura scoffs.“Well_ she _is just going to have to get used to me.Because your’e stuck with me.”_

_“Yes, but I get her forever.”  And the words are out faster than Carmilla can even think she’s saying them._

_Silence settles around them again.  But this time it’s stiff.  And heavy.  And Laura suddenly feels uncomfortable in her arms._

_Carmilla sighs.  Right.  Ever the cynic to bring the light mood to a complete halt._

_Laura shifts.  Settling in again.  And it takes a second for the comfort to come back.  But she pulls the blanket around them tighter.  It’s warm.  Too warm.  Hot.  And Carmilla just can’t breathe right.  But Laura is heavy.  And soft.  And so so soft._

_So she never wants to leave._

_They turn back to the window._

_The moon seems to be fuller now.  Closer.  Almost as if it knew they were talking about it.  It’s shadows are darker.  Fuller.  Deeper._

_“You have me now, too”_

_Carmilla wants to laugh.  Hard and dry._

_“Forever is an awfully long time, cupcake.”_

 

_Laura simply entwines their fingers and Carmilla doesn’t need to see her to know she’s frowning._

_Another sigh fills the air, though from whom it escapes, Carmilla is not sure._

_She lets her head fall against the hard wood of the wall as silent blankets them.  She turns her head.  Back to the moon and the night and it’s never ending black._

_And, Carmilla swears, the moon winks back._

  

_///_

 

Somewhere in the neighborhood nearby there’s laughter and you can’t help but smile at it.   

It’s light and shrill.And you think it must be two people in love. 

You’d learn to recognize it.  It was easy too.  When it became so familiar.

You turn a corner.  And keep on marching.  Your legs carrying you.  Six rows back, five over.  

The moon is high.  You hadn’t realized it would be full tonight.  And it almost doesn’t seem like night.  Everything so bright and illuminated.  It seems to be pointing towards your destination.  Marking it in a single spot light.

Like you really need reminding.  But it’s nice, you suppose.  A small token.  A beacon.  

You get there in no time.  Always too soon but never fast enough.  And you gently place your flowers.  Just how you both like them.  

And you pause for a moment to admire your handy work before you sink to the ground.

Your pants are instantly wet but they’ll dry so you don’t really care.  You settle.  And turn your head towards the sky, letting the moon beams bathe you.  

The laughter gets louder.  Though from your heightened hearing sense or a closer distance, you’re not really sure.  

And, for a second, you allow it to fill you.

  

///

 

_Carmilla watches from a rock at the water’s edge._

_They’re laughing.  LaFontaine and Perry, Danny and Laura.  She doesn’t really know about what.  But the echoes of their mirth flit back to her with each gentle pull of the water and she can’t help but smile._

  _Laura turns then, smiles as she ducks beneath the water’s surface before emerging again.  And then she’s wading through the lake and walking towards Carmilla._

_“Are you really not going to come in?”_

 

_“Just because you forced me to bring you here, does not mean I am going to partake.”_

  _“I didn’t force you to do anything.”_

 

_And she hadn’t.Rather, it had been Lawrence’s “Put up or shut up, Karnstein.” when Carmilla had mentioned the lake near campus that no one knew about that had led them to their midnight swim._

_She’d never been one to turn down a challenge._

_  
Carmilla smirks and pulls the sunglasses on her head to cover her eyes._

_Laura rolls her eyes and hops onto the rock, allowing Carmilla to wrap a towel around her shoulders.  “Seriously?”_

  _“It’s bright out.”_

_“The moon does not warrant sunglasses.”_

  _Carmilla shrugs and reclines, letting her head fall to Laura’s lap without an invitation._

_“You’ll get your hair wet.”_

  _“I said I do not enjoy swimming, never said anything about getting wet.”_

  _Laura chuckles and shakes her head even as she leans forward and gives her a chaste kiss.  “You’re impossible.”_

  _Carmilla smiles and they settle into silence as they turn to watch Danny, LaFontaine, and Perry in the water.  “What are they arguing about?”_

  _“Danny and LaFontaine want to have a breath holding contest and Perry is trying not to well…go into over drive at the thought.”_

_Carmilla snorts.“I’d put you all to shame.”_

  _“Put up or shut up, Karnstein.”_

  _Though, then again, some challenges are meant to be put down._

  _“My money is on Lawrence.”_

_Laura mock gasps.  “Do my ears deceive me?  You, siding with Danny?  I have tell her.”_

_Carmilla doesn’t think she’s serious.  And she’s about to retort as such until the comfort of Laura’s legs are gone and her head hits the hard rock._

_“God damn it, Laura!”_

_The only response she gets is Laura’s loud giggle as she sprints into the water followed with:  “You’ll have to catch me first.”_

_Carmilla growls and lets her head fall back to the rock.  They both know she won’t follow so she’ll have to live with the taunts and the teasing that is sure to come her way._

_But, she thinks, as she pulls the glasses off and let’s the moon beams hit her face, it might be worth it.  If the laughter coming from the lake is any indication._

_From the water, Danny blows her a mocking kiss._

_Carmilla scowls._

_Not that she’d ever admit it._

_Carmilla sighs and turns back towards the sky._

_To the big empty sky and the bright full moon.  So big and filling, she thinks, that it certainly must be laughing too._

  

///

 

The headstone is hard against your back.  You can feel it cold, even with your layers and your coat.    And you don’t need to see it to know what it says.  The simple engraving ingrained into your skin so many years ago.

The gentle curve of the “L”, the hard lines of the “H”.  

And you think, sitting against it, your body settled on the grave below must be some sort of desecration.  Some sort of disrespect.  To someone.  Somewhere.  Who must believe in a deity.  

But you don’t care.  You don’t.  And you won’t.  Not ever.

You whisper a quiet “Evening, cupcake” to the empty air.  You wrap your arms around yourself and settle further into the embrace of her stone.  And just for a moment, you think you feel warmth.  

A tender embrace.  Familiar.  Even after years and days, you’d never forget it.

It’s fake.  But you can pretend.  

Sometimes that’s better than the truth.  

“It snowed again last night.”

The laughter nearby is fading as the night thickens and the moon rises higher.

It seems to take up half the sky.  And it’s bright.  So bright.  Too bright.

The moon smiles down at you.

It always does.

And, not for the first time, you think…

It must enjoy mocking you. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumble with me: http://daisyfalls.tumblr.com/


End file.
